I am no longer a person who believes ….

We are the greatest country on earth–something is wrong here. We can build a city in Iraq almost overnight but then leave thousands of our people to figure out things on their own in our backyard.

I have heard from people in MI before I went to LA and MS as I tried to raise money. Some were glad to support HOLIA and our mission. Some were surprised that LA and MS still needed help. They thought that things were OK now. Others have expressed that why help these people for many have stolen money from FEMA, that they are thugs or just poor, where are their families and why don't they go and live with them, and how stupid are these people anyway for trying to rebuild in such a place prone to conditions such as further hurricanes. I would listen to all calmly on the outside but inside I just wanted to scream for you can only understand these conditions and people if you actually go, volunteer, watch and listen. Only then can you truely understand the scope and depth of the conditions and people.

At the medical clinic worked a wonderful out- of- work teacher. She had 2 children. Because of Katrina, she had lost her job as a teacher, lost her sister and mother in the hurricane, lost her home and possessions. She was working at the free clinic as a receptionist. She wasn't just a receptionist for many days you could see her comforting one of the patients.

That is where I heard her story. She went on the say that many times they all feel that everyone has forgotten them and that they all together will have to build New Orleans on their own. She said that volunteers come and go and experience but that they all live this life day in and out. Never knowing if when they call 911 that someone will come, drive 20 minutes to find a grocery store, wondering where their children will be able to go to school, wondering when life would finally be normal. She is determined to rebuild for she says that New Orleans is her home and she is determined to make it a better place for her children and her childrens children. She was hired by the school system so she now has a job and she has been collecting books for the school library. When I listened to her upbeat but sad talk to a patient, I really began to understand why these people are living in the conditions that they are.

Another patient told me about her church. The church congregation had decided to rebuild only as much as they could collect. They finally had enough money to pay for one portion of their building. They hired a contractor and the work was finished. They found out the contractor never payed the sub contractors so the church was responsible to pay the sub contractors. The church had used what they had. This is a common occurrance in New Orleans and in MS. If you can find a contractor, many are dishonest. Some just take the money and do no work. Others inflate the cost of the repairs and some don't pay the sub contractors. This is not all the workers but many are. I don't know how many of these people sleep at night by taking advantage of the desperate and downtrodden but it is happening every day.

I treated a patient that was rebuilding 13 of his family members homes one by one. He was exhausted and couldn't understand why he had back pain.

We saw more abcesses than I could count. They ranged from grapefruit size to quarter size. Some would have just one while others would have several on their bodies. If any of us got a paper cut or scrape, it would become infected. Many of us had bug bites long after we returned home for the healing process was very slow. A couple of my volunteers had rashes on their legs or arms which healed once they returned home. The bacteria growth from the mold and waste must be very high. I never did any demolition work and my bites are just disappearing now. All the volunteers wore tyvex suits with the demolition work so the bacteria is just in the ground and everywhere.

This was to be an upbeat letter about all that we had accomplished but after hearing stories today about Katrina, I will write about our accomplishments later. I felt tonight that sharing these thoughts and experiences were more important.

Finally, I am a loner. I never wanted to be in charge of anything except my family and my life. I always refused management positions for I just would NEVER want to manage anyone. I just enjoy helping people. I struggled this trip as the leader of such a large group. I am used to just going to disasters and helping but not leading them. I go and do what I want, when I want, and where I want. This was a new experience dealing with the problems that groups naturally have. I wondered on the trip whether I really wanted to continue with Hands of Light and all the responsibilities that come with that position. As I reflect and think about all that we accomplished as a group, it IS worth all the time and effort. The small organizations really make a difference. Many of these small organizations worked with us as you will see in the next report and we really did touch and help a lot of people. I am very proud of what we accomplished. We were able to really spread the contributions around and we were able to really make a difference with the various projects we all did throughout the weeks we were there.

Many of us ended up staying for 3 weeks instead of the initial 2 weeks. As far as my leading HOLIA, the results far outway whatever discomfort or extra effort that I may have to give as being a leader. It definitely was a learning experience. I just thank all of you that chose to go with Hands of Light in Action. God Bless You and all that you are. I feel very priviledged to have shared in this experience with all of you. Very special people HOLIA had on this trip.

Love and Light,

Nancy Malone, President

Hands of Light in Action

PS Tonight was the first time that I really read all the reports all you volunteers wrote. I read them in the blogging at HandsofLightinAction.org.

Thank you!!! If any of you want to add any further comments or experiences or just how you feel now that you are home, please email them to me and we will post them or you can just write in the guest book. Also, I need your pictures if you want them to be included on the DVD.